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T's first dance performance

So my 3 year old has been bugging us for a few months to take a ballet class, or as she says, "bayeah". We finally got her into one a couple weeks ago, and there was a performance scheduled for today that most of the kids in the class had been working on for a while, so I wasn't sure how she'd do. She is usually very shy.

She was ultra-adorable! She did almost as well as most of the girls in the class, plus she looked like she was having the time of her life, whereas the other girls either concentrated on their performance or got distracted. The teacher danced with them, and when the teacher did a funny move (it was dance about a picnic), T would giggle infectiously. Reinard told me that her performance made him teary-eyed, and that the $40 a month that the class costs is "totally worth it." She continued to be blissfully happy after the performance, and skipped around and chattered non-stop happily.


Continuing a Year of you Life meme from this post

I was 20 years old for most of 1990.

One of the biggest events of the year for me was moving out my mom's home for the 2nd time -- I'd only lived away for  few months the year before, but this time I'd live away for a year.

I moved into the 2 bedroom apartment that I was going to share with my new roommate Kelly (a high school friend) in late May of 1990. It was on Elizabeth Street, just a couple of blocks from the University of Utah which I would be starting at in the fall. It was a very quite side street with no car outlet. Going for a walk with Michael once led us to the discovery that the street curved down at the end to a dead end, but there was a set of stairs at the end that took you down a steep hill to the next street which was 1100 East. There was abundant folliage so it was nearly hidden from view of the street, you had to know where to look.

I had been dating Michael since January of 1989 and we were still going strong for most of that year. I would in the future end up having a long on again, off again history with Michael, and I would end up having a child with him later. At this point it was just nice and romantic.

I didn't have a car at this time, and I had a driving phobia in any case, so I would usually bus to and from work unless I worked an evening shift, in which case Michael would pick me up and take me home.

I worked at Fred Meyer in Sugarhouse at the time. It was the smallest of the Fred Meyer stores. I had been working there since I had graduated from high school in 1988. At the beginning of 1990 I was still working the apparel department where I had been hired. Early in the year I'd been "promoted" to head the infants apparel, which meant more responsibility, but not more pay.

The manager at the store who transfered to the store early in the year didn't like me too much, and one of the first things she did to me is force me to dress up as the Easter Bunny the day before Easter. I had no prior warning, and I had dressed nicely that day since I was hosting a bridal shower as maid of honor for a friend of mine after work, so I wasn't happy about sweating inside the costume. I was even less happy playing the Easter Bunny. I was supposed to hand out balloons to kids in the parking lot where some Easter activities had been set up. My tail was pulled and I was kicked at and teased by several mean children. When I was finally allowed to quit playing Easter Bunny, I found that quite a bit of fur and come off the costume and static clung to my nice pants. I spend the good part of an hour (paid thankfully) trying to get it off with an improvised lint roller made out of wide packing tape and a fat marker.

A month or so later, that same manager transfered me from the apparel department and had me trained as a cashier. This was just a few months before we were to get UPC scanner registers. At that time, everything had to have a price tag and everything was entered by price and code, which was real pain.

I mostly enjoyed cashiering, but there were some down sides. 1990 was the 20th anniversary of Earth Day, and the customers had seemed to become more environmentally conscious. When I asked, "paper or plastic?" I would (at least once a day) get a dirty look and a disgusted answer, like "of course I want paper. Plastic fills up the landfill and doesn't biodegrade" or "of course I want plastic. I don't want to kill a tree".

A couple of months after being trained as a cashier, the manager that didn't like me was transfered and we got a fun new manager, Craig. He was friendly and teasing. He also had no arms from about the elbow down, just complicated hooks that could grip things. The only downside to Craig that I could tell was that he usually hired young blondes orgood looking girls, and he hired them at wages slightly above what I was earning after working there for two years. I don't believe there was any sexual harassment of mistreatment, but it was the first one of the first times that I felt the sting of being discriminated against for not being pretty in the traditional sense.

Craig had me trained to work the service desk and also trained me for a new position (front end PIC -- person in charge) that would be required by the new cashiering system we were getting in. I was in charge of the cashiers, giving them change and manager overrides, and getting them set up and making sure they got counted out each day. The service desk was very stressful, but I thrived when I was scheduled as PIC for the most part -- I did have trouble being assertive with the cashiers and having them keep busy at certain projects because most of them were older than I was.

In September I went with Michael and his family to Lake Tahoe, where we celebrated his grandmother's 88th birthday. His half brother, who we had car pooled with had teased us about getting married as we passed all the little wedding chapels on the Nevada side of the lake. That led to a discussion on the trip about marriage. He expressed that he wanted to do it and so I felt safe enough to say that I hoped we would someday, too. Little was I to know that this conversation started a thought process for him, and a month later I started to notice him withdrawing from the relationship, and that was when it really began to fall apart.

I enjoyed Lake Tahoe and spending time with Michael's relatives. After Nanny's birthday, the rest went their separate ways home, and Michael, Michael's mother Lily and I headed northwest to a wonderful little town on the California coast called Medocino. I hope to go back some day. It was a very charming little town. We stayed in an adorable bed and breakfast called the Seagull Inn. It was my first time at a Bed and Breakfast and I think it's one of the best ways to travel. We had fresh blackberry muffins every morning from the blackberry bushes on the property.

In October I started up at the University of Utah.I started out with only one class, Survey of Theatre, to see how I'd do. I hadn't been the best student in high school and it had been quite a while since I had to worry about studying. But I found for the first time in my life that I loved school, which was a surprise to me.

October is when things started to fall apart with Michael. We started fighting a lot, and he started backing away. It was a very devastating time for me. It was my first major relationship and we had been together at this point for nearly two years. The struggle really colored those last few months of that year and I spent a lot of time crying and depressed. We would end up hanging on for a little more than a year after that before breaking up officially. It would almost be like Michael was playing the daisy game -- I love you, I love you not -- each phase lasting a few weeks before the next petal.

The user pic on this post was taken in 1990 at Lake Tahoe by Michael. It's a bit washed out because I developed it myself and it was underexposed. Normally, Michael would throw away mistakes like this one, but I kept it because I really liked it, and I never did print up another of that exact one.

As a bridesmaid, April 1990


This is one of the years chosen for me to write about in the meme in the previous post. I had two years chosen, and rather than pick one, I decided to write about both.  I'll write about 1990 either later today or tomorrow.

I was 13 years old for most of 1983. I finished up the last half of 7th grade and started the first half of 8th grade that year.

I think it was in 7th grade that I really became attached to the library. I had been a big fan of reading for a few years by that point, spending most of my summer vacation reading rather than playing outside, finishing 6 - 10 books a week. But in 7th grade I was in Jr. High, where I could spend part of my lunch break on my own looking for books at the library in my school, rather than as someone who was brought with several siblings by my mother to the library to pick out a few books in 1/2 hour or so.

I became fascinated with a series of cookbooks that I found there - each book covered a cusine from a different country. There were tons of photos of food and the country and it's culture, along with detailed instructions on how to make the food. I enjoyed the book on France in particular and the photos brought up a longing to visit that country. I checked out that particular book several times and got my first late fine on that one.

Towards the end of 7th grade I discovered fantasy and the Chronicles of Narnia books. We were supposed to have picked out a science fiction book for my reading class, and I had accidentally picked up The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe. My teacher informed me that it was the wrong genre, but he let me use that book for that reading project anyway.

I loved it, read all the sequels,  and the next quarter (the last of the school year), when we assigned to write a short story, I wrote a fantasy in a similar vein. A friend of mine and I decided that we had too many ideas for a mere story and wanted to make it a book, so we consulted with Mr. Rausch, who  told us that it was a great idea, and that we could be excused from all the rest of our assignments for that quarter to work on our books, and then at the end of the quarter he would grade us for the class on what we had written by the end of the quarter.  I had over 80 handwritten pages and I was awarded an "A" for the quarter.

In late 1983 ( 8th grade) was when I discovered that I enjoyed gothic novels that I found, surprisingly,  in my school library - the kind where the young governess is hired at an old English mansion with a man with a secret and she is surrounded by danger and usually rescued by the man. I wasn't to read Jane Eyre for another 8 years which was the precursor to such books. The first one I read was "On the Night of the Seventh Moon" by Victoria Holt, who then became my favorite author. I've since come to realize that she's not a great writer though prolific, but at the time I read everything I could find by her at the library.

Other books I read that year where "The Winds of War" and "War and Remembrance" by Herman Wouk (the mini-seriesof TWoW had aired earlier that year, and I had really gotten into it.) "Firestarter" by Stephen King

Songs I remember from 1983 were "Let's Dance" by David Bowie, "Here Comes the Rain" by the Eurythmics, "Little Red Coravette" by Prince, "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler, "Every Breath You Take" by the Police, "Beat It" by Michael Jackson, "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats, and "Putting on the Ritz" by I can't remember who.

A woman I babysat for on a weekly basis bought me the Flashdance soundtrack LP for that Christmas, which I really loved and would dance to in my room.

There were some really fun summer blockbuster movies in the summer of 1983 that I remember waiting in long lines to see: The Return of the Jedi, Superman III, and War Games.

War Games inspired a little early computer geekery. We had a Tandy computer that hooked up to the t.v., but no programs for it. There was a little manual that taught basic, and two of my brothers and I programed it to asked questions and respond (without the voice aspect) like the computer in War Games: "Shall we play a game? How about Global Thermonuclear War?" etc. I started to really enjoy programing the computer, and my brothers got jealous of all the time I spent on it, wanting more time to work on it themselves, and they ended up hiding it from me. I can't exactly remember why, but when I talked to my mother about it she really wasn't supportive of getting the computer back so that I could use it.

My family moved from Sandy, Utah to Salt Lake City, Utah in the summer of 1983 and it felt at the time that we were moving from the sticks to the Big City. We moved into a house that had been built in the 1930s which seemed old after living in relatively new houses for most of my life.

The neighborhood was in the 15th East 15th South area, and two houses down it had a quiet, little shopping area which included a family market run by asian women, a drugstore that had some really old products on its shelves and was quite dusty in places (but I could buy fresh gummy bears there -- and later sour patch kids -- for a penny apiece), Smokey's Records, and The King's English bookstore, the only business from then that's still there -- it's now a very trendy area with a couple of high priced restaurants, a pet groomery and a Starbucks and Einstein's bagels.

I was given the basement bedroom all to myself. It was the only finished room in the basement, and the room connected to my room was a dirt basement room which was also a new experience for me, and I had a nightmare not long after we moved in that dead people were burried there and they came alive, zombie-like, and were chasing me . . .

1983 was when I got my first experience as a latchkey kid. When we moved to our new house, the monthly payments were pretty high, so my mom got a part time job at Aztec Copy to help with the expenses.

Since my mom was working and my room was kind of isolated, I got my first opportunity to be a slob, which I did marvelously. In previous homes, my mother would check our rooms each evening before bed to make sure that they spotless. I can remember the frustration I felt as she stood in the doorway to the room I shared with my sister,getting angrier and saying "It's not finished yet!" and searching frantically for what was out of place and not seeing what she was seeing. In the new house, she gave up that kind of vigilence, but when one of my parents did eventually venture down I would get in trouble for the mess, and either be grounded or punished in some other way.

I started school that August at Clayton Intermediate. I was out of place immediately. My parents didn't believe in shopping for clothes in fashion and we frequently got our clothes at Kmart or thrift stores -- which was definitely not cool in the 80s. The kids in Salt Lake were more up-to-date fashionwise than what I'd even been used to in Sandy, and it seemed that they all had more money. I was fairly quickly categorized as a nerd (and not in the computer genius sense, either) and was a social outcast. I wasn't without friends, though.

In the summer I went to my new church group to an LDS girls camp called Brighton. We stayed in cabins, went on hikes, and only got to shower once the whole week we were there. One of my more embarassing moments was playing a game in which you had to stand on one leg and with your arms behind your back you had to bend down and pick up a paper grocery bag with your teeth. After one person would do that, the bag got ripped all around the area where the teeth marks were and then another person would take a turn. The bag would get shorter and shorter and harder to grab. When I was trying to do this, my pants split in the seat as I was bending over, leaving me red faced and with only two other pairs of pants to wear the rest of the trip.

Towards the end of that year breakdancing started to become popular at my school. I had never heard of or seen anything like it before and thought it was amazing. Michael Jackson had made certain breakdancing moves, like moonwalking, popular.

This photo isn't from 1983, it's from the fall of 1982 when I started 7th grade. It's the closest photo I have downloaded on the computer from this time.

A Year of Your Life Meme

This one looks like fun. I know I don't write in this journal often, but I hope that a few of my friends will give me some years to choose from

A Year of Your Life Meme Instructions:

The year you were born: 1969

Post these instructions in your blog.

Invite your friends to comment to the post choosing a year in your life (ideally they'll choose a year that you can remember). From the comments, choose one year and write a post about that year. Write about the highlights, or a specific story from that year in your life.

Each friend that comments is then invited to post these instructions in their own blog.

Nov. 17th, 2006

35% Inner-Outer
40% Head-Heart
50% Create-Control
Constellation: Taurus
Traditionally covers: April 20 - May 20
Actually covers: May 14 - June 21
Element: Earth
Ruling Body: Venus

Taurus, or as the Ancient Romans called it "Ol' Reliable" is associated with loyalty and determination. Taurans are known for their practical and reliable nature, as well as being able to bash down villages with large logs of wood. They are affectionate and sensitive, but can frequently turn into stubborn, lazy bastards if left to their own devices.

Likes: Small children, diary products
Dislikes: Cowboys, Clowns.
Fun Fact: In ancient Rome, Taurans were used as human shields, being as they were immune to the attacks of the marauding bands of Hindu Cannibals that frequently attacked the city.


...So, is this your sign? Were you born on the right day? If so, congratulations, you're one of the lucky few. If not, there are several possibilities as to why this may have occurred:

1) The dates of zodiac signs do not directly correspond to their respective constellations.
For various reasons, when the Zodiac calendar was developed, the edges of the constellations were fudged a bit to allow the sky (and therefore, year) to be divided into twelve even pieces. This made life easier for astrologers, as well as giving the signs a more even spread. In addition to this, since the signs were first established, the earth has "wobbled" somewhat, placing the constellations even further out.

2) New celestial bodies are constantly being discovered and/or reclassified.
At the time the signs were assigned their ruling bodies, Astronomers only knew of five other planets, (Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn), as well as the sun. Since then, an additional two planets have been discovered (Uranus and Neptune), as well as multiple dwarf planets, Kuiper-belt objects, and other really big things in the solar system. Furthermore, many celestial bodies, such as Pluto and Ceres were once planets, but have since been demoted to "dwarf planet" or just "big hunk of rock".

3) You're Chinese.
Or Indian. Or Native American or Babylonian or... whatever. The point is that the western Zodiac isn't the only one out there. Many other cultures have their own star signs, such as the Chinese Zodiac, which is divided into years. The Chinese Zodiac is probably the most popular, along with the western and Indian (Vedic) Zodiacs, but there are many more, including Persian-Arabic, Mesoamerican, Tibetan, Babylonian, Celtic, Kabbalistic and Germanic Runic astrologies. Try them all out, see what works for you.

4) Astrology is a load of bollocks.
If nothing else fits the bill either, then just make something up. Pick a random patch of the night sky, give it a cool sounding name and that can be your star sign. Your sign could be, for instance, Jim the Dyslexic Ninja Carrot. And because it's just for you, it doesn't need to be vague and random like most horoscopes. You could get up in the morning to go to work, check your horoscope and be stunned to read "Dude, get some milk. We're out." It's just that easy.

So thanks for playing. Tell your friends.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Inner-Outer
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Head-Heart
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Create-Control
Link: The What SHOULD your Star Sign be? Test written by phil_ken_seben on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Names Meme

1. YOUR SPY NAME: (middle name and current street name)
Holly Windsor

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your dad's side, your favorite candy)
Reva Spree

3. YOUR RAP NAME: (first initial of first name, first three or four letters of your last name)
J. Kill

4. YOUR GAMER TAG: (a favorite color, a favorite animal)
Burgundy Puppy

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Holly Salt Lake

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
Kil Vis Zk

7. JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards)
Ylloh Sivad

8. PORN STAR NAME: (first pet's name, the street you grew up on)
Prancy Kensington

9. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, the automobile your dad drives)
The Burgundy ? (don't know what my dad is driving these days)

10. YOUR ACTION HERO NAME: (First Name Of The Main Character In The Last Film You Watched, Last Food You Just Ate)
  __________ Stir-Fry (Can't think of charcters names for the last several films I've watched)